On Love and the Approval of Others

"Finally, discipline means solitude of some sort, not in the sense of selfish withdrawal but in the sense of an emptiness that no longer cherishes the comfort of various social ‘idols” and is not slavishly dependent on the approval of others. In such solitude one learns not to seek love but to give it. One’s great need is now no longer to be loved, understood, accepted, pardoned, but to understand, to love, to pardon and accept others just as they are."

Thomas Merton. “Renewal and Discipline” in Contemplation in A World of Action