Settin' Hens

Tales from Grady Creek Holler

Settin' Hens

Well, I reckon I got off on a story or two that Old Man Grisham brought to mind. I was tellin' you about the time me and Ludlow Horrel went up to Grisham's place to get us a couple of hens to lay those good brown eggs for us. When you get to thinkin' about Grisham, you remember a lot of stories about him.

Anyway, we conjured up a plan to talk Old Man Grisham out of them hens without having to pay for them. One, because we had no money and two, because he had no use for the money right then. Now talkin' Grisham into or out of anything is a pure struggle. He don't aim to lose in a trade. Not ever. So we had to be ever so wary of spookin' him.

Ludlow knew of a kinsman that had some retired fightin' roosters that was brought up the mountain from one of the towns nearby. Now I say retired, but they was really more dazed than retired. They was only retired because they was dazed. They was dazed from too many fights that lasted too long. But, they was said to have come from good stock. And Ludlow could make their history sound a whole lot better than it really was.

"Mr. Grisham", says Ludlow, "I figure we can strike a deal on them settin' hens."

Try to remember that Grisham was thinking more of tradin' our doin' his chores for him to pay for them chickens than he was makin' any kind of a money deal, but he was interested right off. And try as he might, he couldn't help but ask Ludlow what he had on his mind.

" Well, sir, " Ludlow started out," I can get hold of some fine breedin' stock roosters to match up with them hens and 'fore long, we'll have the flock that's the envy of all here abouts." Between them breedin' stock roosters of mine and them fine settin' hens of yours, we can grow some of the strongest roosters and biggest hens in the county. Hell, Grisham, we can get eggs out of them new hens that's as big as your fist; maybe some double yolkers, too. And, come time for the tradin' days at the courthouse, after the word gets out, we will have a crowd of folks standin' in line to buy chickens, roosters, eggs and all. It'll be like hatchin' money. And we'll all be wantin' money during the courthouse tradin' days."

Grisham gave old Ludlow a sideways glance, spit on the ground, makin' them hens scurry and said, "Already got a rooster. Big and strong, too." But we could tell he was bit by the Greedy Bug. You could tell he was doin' some deep thinkin' on Ludlow's offer.

"Well, boys," says Grisham, "I won't turn loose of them hens just yet. Tell ya what I will do though." We was set and we knew it. Old Grisham was gonna go for it! After a while he come through with his side of the offer:
"You bring me two of them roosters and I'll put 'em with them other chickens and if them hens of mine takes a likin' to them roosters of yours, we can talk about tradin' some more."
Not knowin' that Ludlow was comin' up with a deal in the first place, I was unbelivin' when I heard that. Grisham's proposition bordered on fair.

So a couple of days pass and old Ludlow goes to see the kinsman to talk him out of two of them roosters to "borrow". He has to promise the kinsman that if either of them roosters don't make it back, he owes the kinsman a dollar for each one. That's kind of high for these spent roosters, but Ludlow had no doubt he would bring them back.

Ludlow puts them two old fightin' roosters in a sack and they never even got busy with one another; too tired and too old. The roosters knew that the fightin' didn't need to start until they was out of the bag. And off goes Ludlow, the sack of roosters over his shoulder, up the mountain to old man Grisham's place.

When Ludlow got to Grisham's it was gettin' late in the day and he couldn't raise nobody at the house. Just then, Mrs. Grisham appeared from behind the house and asked Ludlow what he wanted. He told her he was deliverin' them roosters for Grisham and she said he would just have to sit out by the oak a while and wait 'till the old man showed up.

Roosters in tow, Ludlow went to the oak tree and sat down to wait. Mrs. Grisham came back with some root tea for him and then she went on back toward the house. No sign of Grisham. And it won't be long 'till it's too dark ( or too spooky ) to walk back down the mountain. Ludlow had seen a couple of haints in his time and didn't need to see no more.

After about an hour of sittin' there quiet, them roosters began to rustle around in that bag a little. They could tell, even in that bag, that it was getting' dark and they was thinkin' about a roost for the night. And fearful that a fight would start and cause a ruckus, Ludlow decided he would take them to the old creaky chicken house and put 'em in there for the night and come back tomorrow. He could bargain all refreshed.

It was already dark in the old creaky chicken house, except for the scant twilight that came through the cracks in the walls. The old chicken house was about to fall over and the cracks was wide enough in some places to drive a cat through. Ludlow saw an old half-used-up candle on a shelf in there and lit it up to look around. The darker it got the stranger them chickens looked by that candlelight, but they was already asleep for the night. He was ready to dump them roosters off and get out of there.

He shook them roosters out of the bag and they looked terrible from the ride up there. Their feathers was all rumpled and stickin' up in peculiar places. They was confused and about half blinded by the candlelight. Besides, they was in a strange place full of other chicken smells and they was gettin' on guard. Well, Ludlow decided he didn't want no activity out of 'em, so he begins to stroke them feathers back in place and pretty them roosters up a bit, whilst he waited. He wanted the hens to take to 'em in front of Grisham tomorrow.

Ludlow was intent on the strokin' and daydreamin' about his smart deal tomorrow and wasn't payin' no attention to what was happenin' outside. About that time, he hears an angel singin' soft and low not far outside the chicken house. Now, he was payin' attention!

Ludlow whips around to face the angel's voice and there was a light comin' through the cracks. Hell to pay! It was either the Lord comin' on the clouds of light, or old man Grisham with a lantern and either way didn't look good to him. In his excitement, he spooked the roosters, they begin a fightin' each other and all that wing floppin' and spurin' knocked the candle over into some straw.

The straw begins to smolder and the old chicken house gets to fillin' with smoke. Ludlow could see through the flames that the roosters was still fightin' and the other chickens was wakin' up on the roost. Eyes burnin' and confusion takin' its toll on him, Grisham's young white rooster came alive …. the Ruler of the roost!

That young rooster spied them two bedraggled fightin' roosters in his hen house and took to defendin' his flock and the roost. Down from the roost he flew right into them two old befuddled fightin' roosters; and smoke, feathers and sounds of terror filled the air. Old Ludlow was between a shit and a sweat! He had fire and fightin' chickens trappin' him inside and somethin' ghostly waitin' on him outside.

He headed for that danglin' piece of a door and the outside …. ghostly things bedamned! Off he ran, nearly into the gun barrel of old man Grisham who, by this time, was on the run in Ludlow's direction to see what was causin' the alarm in his chicken house. Grisham, bein' as startled and perplexed to see Ludlow as was Ludlow to see him.

Well, Ludlow never came back up the mountain to see old man Grisham; nor, to collect our hens or the borrowed roosters. He was glad to pay the two dollars owed the kinsman, after what he had been through up there.

Old man Grisham still laughs to this day about Ludlow passin' him a howlin' and a stumblin' into the dark night. He won the deal again, as always. He wound up with them two old roosters and just minor damage to the old creaky chicken house. And besides, he is proud of that young white rooster, who just struts around now, ruling his roost and Lordin' it over them old, retired fightin' roosters every chance he gets.

Neither Grisham, nor Ludlow ever knew that it was Bessie May's passin' by the chicken house on her way to the outhouse that night that lit the fuse to the great settin' hen ruckus.
Her sounds of angelic singin' and her glow, driftin' through the cracks, was enough to spook poor old Ludlow for sure.