Back To Where I Belong

I ventured out of solitude and into the world for a while and before long I stepped into the snare of ego. And when that snare tripped, I was thrown into a dizzying cloud of confusion. Thinking that I could help you understand; that I could "help" you. Forgetting that you are not in need of my help.

Then, suddenly, I was struck with the same type of diamond bullet which struck Colonel Kurtz; right through the forehead …. Crystalline, clear, pure. The diamond bullet of understanding …. understanding that I can no more help you think than I can help you breathe. Your thoughts are your own. As your breath breathes you, your thoughts think you.

Bypassing the most basic of all rules: "to each, his own". I stumbled, uninvited, into your path and spilled my recklessness onto your sacred garments. Please forgive that intrusion, that smugness, that folly. I was enriched by the light which overtook me and, wanting you to see it, I tried to share the light, all the while overlooking that your light must come from within you. I was disregarding for the moment that your view is through your individual prism of experiences.

Oh, the stench of arrogance and pontification. How pompous and wrong of me. Wallowing in the same filth of dogma which I so despise. And the most egregious of my sins was trespassing into your sanctum. I shudder at the thought of it. Along with my apology I can only ask for your forgiveness, not expect it.

So with this weight lifted and with a sigh of relief I return to my solitude. My beautiful, sweet solitude with its quiet and with its natural peace and beauty. This is where I belong.

To answer at the knock on the door, but to remain unlisted, with no name on the mailbox. To speak when spoken to and to remain otherwise silent.

I smile at the thought of it: Anonymous.

May God bless you and keep you; cause the Light to shine upon you and within you, always.

Phil Miller